Reviews

In 1997 Canadian Director Vincenzo Natali’s psychological thriller Cube became a minor hit for its innovative story about a group of prisoners who awaken in a cube shaped room with hatches on all sides. Depending on the choices, the hatches may lead to freedom, other cubes, or worse. If you haven’t seen it, you should as it manages to be both enthralling and thought provoking. Jump ahead to 2010 and Natali’s latest project, Splice, further establishes him as a supreme cinematic talent.

Splice tells the story of two Toronto geneticists Clive (Adrien Brody) and Elsa (Sarah Polley) who have built their careers upon creating new genetic hybrids for their pharmaceutical employer, which seeks to patent new medicinal compounds from the organisms. Up to this point their greatest achievement has been two slug-like creatures that seem to be a pair of genetic Fort Knox’s in terms of drug producing potential.

Not satisfied with slugs, however, Elsa urges Clive join her in adding human DNA into the mix. The result is Dren (nerd spelled backwards), a curious creature that incorporates the features of human, animal, and fish. Call this an updating of Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein, for Dren is very much the Modern Prometheus. Played by French actress Delphine Chanéac, Dren is the star of this film. Every bit the monster, she manages to be all at once engaging, sympathetic, unpredictable, and terrifying. Unlike conventional horror flicks in which the creature lurks in the darkness, picking off victims, only to be shown during the final reveal, Dren takes center stage from the moment she’s artificially born. Her articulated deer-like legs, scorpion-ish tale, and bird/flying fish wings, while otherworldly, never manage to detract from her human side, which speaks volumes for Chanéac’s performance.

Thanks to Chanéac, Polley and Brody, Splice manages to establish a new standard for horror flicks. This heretofore independent Canadian flick (before Guillermo Del Toro signed on and lent his name as a Producer to help with the distribution) has managed to not only elevate the bar in terms of story telling for the horror genre, but shown that compelling and engaging stories can be told within the confines of a so-called “monster movie”. Whereas I normally view sequels as mere attempts to cash in on the coat tails of the original, I, for one, look forward to the next installment, for Splice is very much an unfinished story in progress, and we only have Vincenzo Natali to thank for that.

Rating: 5 stars (out of 5)

Directed by: Vincenzo Natali

Written by: Vincenzo Natali, Doug Taylor, Antoinette Terry Bryant

Starring: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley, Delphine Chanéac, David Hewlett, Brandon McGibbon, Simona Maicanescu

Official Site

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KFC have recently introduced two new burgers in their "Signature Range" designed by chef Darren Simpson. I have no idea who this guy is but a quick google search reveals designing these burgers has ruined his reputation, without revealing how he received a reputation to ruin.

The Smoked Bacon and Parmesan has chicken, bacon, lettuce, parmesan, and caesar dressing on a bun. The first thing you will notice is that it has the ingredients of a caesar salad but is not called a caesar burger. Secondly it's called a Smoked Bacon and Parmesan, not a Smoked Bacon and Parmesan Burger. Why the hell couldn't they call it a burger!

The chicken is breast fillet covered in the KFC batter. The lettuce is actual leaves, not shredded stuff. The cheese is shaved parmesan, not grated. It actually tastes mildly parmesany and there is a generous amount. There is a generous amount of bacon. The bun is probably the best part, being incredibly soft.

I love a Caesar salad (it would be my favourite food if it didn't have lettuce) and enjoyed this burger. KFC haven't just put a slice of bacon and Caesar dressing on a chicken burger, they've made this burger with generous helpings of all ingredients. Well worth a try.

**Please note I have reviewed this in comparison to other fast food not in comparison to real food.

Rating: 8 out of 10
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Pawn Stars shows the interesting items brought into a pawn shop in Las Vegas. The shop is owned by Rick and his father, Old Man. Rick's son Corey and Corey's friend Chumlee also work in the shop. The shop has a reputation as a place that buys antiques and collectables and other high end items, rather than the usual jewellery, watches and DVD players at a regular pawn shop. Customers bring their items in and the guys give a bit of history on it and then make them an offer. If they don't know enough about the item they'll call in an expert who'll give some history and an estimated value. Things that have been bought in include cars, civil war rifles, a hot air balloon, old arcade machines, coke fridges and many more.

It's obvious a lot of the show are somewhat staged. The haggling over the price has usually been done off screen and then re-enacted in front of the camera. The guys describing the history of the items also often looks scripted.

Rick chuckles after every sentence, kind of like Dr Hibert from the Simpsons and loves old weapons. The Old Man talks about how everything was better in the old days loves old cars and toys. Corey is a motorcycle enthusiast. Chumlee is an idiot who comes up with some incredibly witty lines. It's great to see these guys talk about items they are passionate about.

Pawn Stars is one of my favourite shows. I love finding out what the things are worth and how that value is determined (rarity, condition etc). It also gives a bit of history on unusual items you are unlikely to find in history books.

Rating: 10 out of 10

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Horrible Bosses is the story of three guys who work together to kill their bosses. It stars the guy from Arrested Development (ADG), a short bearded guy (SBG) and a nondescript guy (NDG).

NDG works for a family chemical company and loves his job. However when the owner dies his balding, cokehead, wannabe martial artist son (Colin Farrell) takes over. His aim is to make as much money as possible even if it ruins the company. NDG wants to kill his boss to save the company.

SBG is a dental hygienist working for Jennifer Anniston. She is continually throwing herself at him but he rejects her because his penis has fallen off (or he's engaged). He can't get a job elsewhere because he's on the sex offender registry for pissing in a playground.

ADG works for Kevin Spacey doing something wearing a suit and sitting at a desk. He works long hours because he thinks it will lead to a promotion. When the time comes to award the promotion Kevin Spacey decides to combine the position with his own, and take all of the pay.

Overall this movie is mediocre. There are some mildly amusing parts but nothing to make you laugh out loud. There don't seem to be many jokes that fall flat, it's just that there aren't many written into the script. SBG is probably the funniest of the main actors, playing a slightly hyper idiot. ADG played the same character he always does and NDG played a very similar role. One of them should have been replaced with someone funny.

The supporting characters are the highlight of the movie, especially Motherf#%ker Jones (Jamie Fox) as a murder consultant. They are all over the top caricatures, while the main characters are dull boring people. I would have liked to see these characters play a bigger part in the movie.

It feels as if they didn't want to risk putting any big jokes into the movie, so they were only left with things that are mildly amusing. Overall I'd say this is a dead average movie, neither good or bad. I wouldn't rush out to see it, but would sit and watch it if the girlfriend brought the DVD home.

Rating: 5 out of 10
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Title: ZGeek

So very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, ...

From Dust is a cheap ass game available on Steam.

From Dust is the latest original game concept by Eric Chahi, creator of the cult classic, “Another World / Out of this World”. Immerse yourself in a world as exotically beautiful as it is dangerous! You control the destiny of a primitive tribe against the backdrop of a world in constant evolution—a universe where mighty Nature reclaims what is hers; and your mastery of the elements is your people’s only chance of survival.
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It's been almost a year since I've infected this site with one of my movie reviews. Well, the good times are over suckers. Super 8 is out (at least here in North America) and I've decided to break my silence. Has it been for the good, or bad? Read the ZGeek review to find out.

Read it here
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I just got home from seeing Thor. And I walked out thinking, damn I just paid money to see that. I'm also a little grumpy because I have a headache which always seems to happen after I watch a 3D movie. Unfortunately I couldn't find a screening where this movie was being shown normally. Srs, fuck 3D. It's a fucking gimick and it's really starting to shit me to tears.

Anyway. Thor looks awesome. It is pretty, has an amazing cast and the effects are fan-fucking-tastic. Unfortuantely the story is just a pile of fuck. It really seems like they tried to do too much with the script and it leaves you feeling very unsatisfied and somewhat confused to the motivations of some characters. The major plot has holes in it the size of watermelons. The whole love story with Natalie Portman's character seems lame and simply tacked on to appeal to the women-folk.

It is sad too because this movie had everything going for it. Like I said, the movie looks fantastic. Asgard is breath taking. The characters are awesome and the acting is great.

But on the whole. The movie is weak. In my opinion this is just another hollywood fuckup where all the money was spent on making it look good and seem great.

I give Thor 4 out of 10. Which means you should wait until there is a decent DVD rip.

Did you see this to? What did you think?
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I checked out this movie over the weekend and was expecting crap. I got crap. But good crap!

It's a shitty movie, very reminiscent of Tromaville flicks. The acting is way over the top. The plot is silly. The dialogue is laughable. But it's full of blood, guts and gore. I've not seen a lawn mower put to such good use since Peter Jackson's Braindead. Yes, it is that silly.

At no point does the movie take itself seriously. Neither should you. Watch it if you want a violent, gory story of a bum taking out a bunch of over the top psychos.

Three out of five stars from me. ...

Despite turning out one of this year's biggest turds in The Last Airbender, M. Night Shyamalan clearly still has clout in Hollywood, which is a good thing because otherwise we might not be able to enjoy such a taught and compelling little movie as Devil, which, as some have lampooned, comes "from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan". Read the ZGeek review to get the lowdown of one of this year's best small films.
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Ho-hum, Beelzebub's at it again in this latest attempt to mine the "reality cinema" concept with a tale of demonic possession. Problem is, due to the camera work you just might find yourself siding with the dark one.

The Last Exorcism ZGeek Review
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You know you want to see things blowed up real good. Sort of like ZGeek's Dept' of Boom brought to the big screen. Well wait no more, my friends, lube yourselves up with kerosene, bring a match and some popcorn, and prepare to ignite. Yes, folks, this is indeed a pure popcorn treat.

Read the ZGeek Review
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In the past 30 years (yes, it’s been that long) Hollywood has managed to spawn two iconic horror critters, both out of the Sci-Fi mold: the Xenomorph which debuted in Ridley Scott’s 1979 movie Alien, and the Yautja, better known as the Predator from the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger film.

Never one to let go of a cash cow, film studios have spewed forth numerous sequels for both creatures, and even brought the two together for a couple of movie frag fests.

Predators, the latest entry, tries to bring a clever twist to the Yautja franchise, and largely succeeds due to some (surprisingly) above average screenwriting and a generally decent cast.

Read the full ZGeek Review here
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I bought a Samsung Galaxy S last week. For those that don't know, it's basically one of if not the highest spec and best performing Android phones on sale now.

Coming from owning 2 iPhones, the 3g and 3gs, I was concerned about the build quality after reading mixed reviews. I needn't have worried. It's all good in my opinion. Screen and camera are both outstanding.

There are however 2 BIG problems with this phone.

Check out the full review/rant of Zed's new phone here. ...

It's been 13 years since Canadian Director Vincenzo Natali unleashed his magnificent movie Cube on unsuspecting audiences. Now comes his masterpiece, Splice, about the genetic manipulation of human and animal DNA.

Read the full review at ZGeek here.
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The moment I first saw the iPad I, like so many others, thought "So fucking what?" Watching movies on it would be uncomfortable, since you can't just set it down. Typing on it would be a bitch because you have to view your document at a steep angle while tapping away. Carrying it around would be a pain because you have that big, fragile surface exposed all the time - unless you have a carry bag, in which case why wouldn't you just get a fucking laptop?

Then I realised there was one use I would like an IPad for: reading digital comics. Then I realised owning an iPad would suck the cash out of my arse and leave me with that dirty just-fucked-a-toothless-meth-head feeling we non-Applefags get whenever we come within 30 feet of their shiny artsy-farsty self-important boxes of shit.

Some of you might not have all these problems. Some of you, like me, may just want a handy digital viewer for both ebooks and digital comics. Some of you may be wondering how to do that without taking a load in the face from Steve Jobs.

Wonder no more. Many companies are working on their "Fuck the iPad" devices. Here's three you may be interested in. Click the read more to read about them!
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This review is a bit of a departure for me. Because I pimp my reviews out to a number of sites, of which ZGeek is one, I do my best to keep them professional and free of site-specific references. Not this one. This one’s custom tailored for ZGeek. That’s right folks, you won’t read this review anywhere but on Australia’s greatest and most legendary geek site – ZGeek.
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Behold! The single greatest videogame to ever deign to grace your pathetic, puny world with its existence! Murdersaurus! In the vein of such videogame greats as 1942, Galaga and Ikaruga, Murdersaurus brings superior action, excitement, thrills, spills and mayhem to the world. Lead the Bloodsplosion MkII against endless waves of Murdersaurans, as Earth's final hope in Humanity's battle for their very survival. With insane visuals and out-of-this-world effects that will tug the nostalgia gland and beat it with a stick, Murdersaurus will shock and awe you, if you were ever to play it.

But you can't. It's mine. Written, directed, drawn and willed into creation by me and me alone, with just a little help from Sketch Nation Shooter.

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Trends in Hollywood tend to come and go. One year’s fascination quickly gives way to another and so it is that I’ve found myself hoping that the horror sub-genre known as “torture porn” would hopefully give way to a return to more sophisticated story telling. Yet, while not as prevalent as it was a couple of years ago, I’m sad to say this envelope pushing trend doesn’t appear to show any signs of abating.

It’s all too bad, really, because many of the movies that fall into the TP category have, at their essence, really compelling stories that find themselves buried under mountains of blood, gore and entrails. The moment the maxim “what’s been seen cannot be unseen” starts to compete with the plot, you know the viewer is in trouble.

The latest case in point is The Collector. Originally envisioned as a prequel to Saw, but created as a vehicle in its own right when that franchise’s producers balked, this is a movie that has much more going for it than standard horror fare.

Read the full review
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